Living in Thens and Whens
by Crowbartender
Summary: No matter what timeframe they were in, Lilly and Miley were always very much in love. Somewhat AU.


**Dude, I've been writing this for weeks. I came back to it every few days, added some things and went over it SO many times. There's probably still heaps of mistakes, but just know I worked pretty fucking hard to get this done. Appreciate it.**

* * *

A lone dirt road sat by a field where cows and horses often grazed. It loomed as a near dichotomous landscape when compared to its festering counterpart that resided on the opposite side of the dirt lane. Dead grass sprouted in large patches and weeds exceeded the concrete barrier of the driveway, leaving cracks in their wake as they reached and grew and further destroyed the unused driveway, extending their life at the sake of ending another's. The chipped concrete was fading into a chalky white colour and looked completely unappealing as it led up to a seemingly abandoned house. Its condition had yet to be tampered with and it was still a sturdy wooden structure. The only indication of abandonment was the dust and cobwebs lining the railing of the porch, which had been denied of recent furnishings for what could be mistaken for decades. The lights were off and the curtains were drawn shut, allowing no sunlight to touch anything within.

A dark metallic-blue mailbox was being attacked from below by the very same destructive weeds that overcame the driveway. They were climbing its perch, but it remained standing alongside the dusted road imprinted by tyre tracks, not yet ready to fall. It hadn't seen a letter in precisely one month, but the hunched figure sitting beneath it still had hope that another one would arrive at any moment of the day, for it was promised. But the mailbox gave up hope a day after the first letter was received. It knew the truth.

Lilly Truscott sat hopelessly on her poor excuse of a lawn, staring down the road. Dusk was approaching and the air was gaining a chill, but she was unfazed and indifferent towards the biting cold. Her body was void, as was her heart, and physical aspects were an unfelt thing to her at this stage.

The sky darkened to a bluish grey and Lilly smiled grimly, realising how often nature mocked her with reminders. It seemed just mere colours and sounds would slap another recollection in her face and she debated over whether she should sob uncontrollably or remain dry eyed and sullen.

* * *

_"Lilly?" Miley called, scanning the water's surface for any bubbles indicating Lilly's position. But there were none. A minute passed and Miley turned in a slow circle, surveying every corner of the lake thoroughly, but still coming up empty. "Lilly..." she whispered with an edge of fright. She ducked her head under the water and opened her eyes, attempting to peer through the murky lake, but to no avail. She suddenly wished she hadn't leant her only pair of goggles to the missing blonde, desperately needing them. Giving up on trying to distinguish shapes through the mud filled lake, Miley resurfaced._

_She swum back to shore quickly, but before she could make it, something wrapped around her waist and flung her back with a splash. Miley rose from the water with a gasp and turned to find Lilly giggling madly behind her. Her worry refused to dissipate and she delivered a nasty slap to Lilly's arm, glaring furiously at her conniving friend. The girl froze and instantly stopped laughing, the impact of the hit eliciting complete solemnity._

_"Don't ever do that again," Miley snapped. "I thought you had drowned! I was so fucking scared, Lilly. If you had died, I don't- I would..." Sentences were replaced with light sniffles as the effects of her previous panic and the idea of losing her best friend sunk in, sending her emotions into a painful frenzy. She wrapped her arms around herself and lowered her head, breathing slowly, fighting to stay calm._

_Suddenly, Miley's arms were stripped of her, and Lilly's replaced them and she clung to Miley. Miley nestled her face into Lilly's wet hair, needing to know Lilly was still there, still alive and still with her. They remained that way for a few minutes, shivering as they supported and comforted one another with nothing but the fact of each of the other's existence._

_"I'm sorry, Miley. I didn't mean to scare you. I was just messing around. I'm not going anywhere for a long time, you got that?" Lilly assured and Miley nodded, lifting her gaze to connect with Lilly's, who felt gravely guilty for causing Miley to worry so much. They shared silent promises as they continued to look at each other, Lilly holding Miley at arm's length, trying to convey her attachment to life and even more so, Miley. She then smiled. "Have I ever told you that you have really pretty eyes?"_

_"No," Miley drawled out, puzzled by the sudden topic alteration._

_"Well, you do. They're almost like the sky, you know, just when the sun fully goes away," Lilly described gently, taking Miley's hand and leading her out of the lake, wanting to find something that would bring joy back to Miley's heart and erase the momentary pain her stupidity had influenced._

_Once they were somewhat dry, the pair headed back to the summerhouse Miley's father had brought them to annually for the past four years._

* * *

Lilly suppressed her nostalgia, knowing better than to continue reliving events that were fading deeper into her memory, becoming more like the reminiscences of some sweet dream. She could almost hear the terror in Miley's voice as she called for her.

"Lilly," she heard from somewhere far away. Somewhere not real. "Lilly!" It came again. Louder. Less feminine. "Lilly, I swear to God..."

Lilly looked up at the man standing over her, the smile she beamed clearly friable as she grasped his presented hand without question.

"Someday Lilly, I fear you'll catch your death out here," he said to her sadly, leading her up the broken driveway, which chillingly resembled the contents of Lilly's chest. Lilly chuckled to herself, but he didn't truly understand what was so humorous. Perhaps she was laughing at the absurdity.

"I'm dead without her anyway Travis, you know that." Yes, she had been laughing about it. You couldn't die twice.

"I know how much you poured your heart into your plans, but you should have said something Lilly. You should have told her to stay."

"And then what? Watch her cry over her lost opportunities every night, while she slowly comes to detest me and my selfishness?"

"You're such a drama queen."

"You can't say it might not have happened! I know Miley, she's been my best friend for fourteen years, and if I stood in her way while she was chasing her dreams, she would never forgive me for it. It's her needs over mine, always."

"You're in way too deep, Lil," Travis gibbered, but Lilly was lost to her mind once more as he started up a warm fire in the living room. Every night he would do this and every day he asked himself what would happen if he forgot Lilly was sitting outside waiting for a letter from Miley. It was her only ambition and he couldn't understand why she cared so little about everything else, especially her own health.

Lilly sighed wistfully and met Travis' eyes, her face downcast, and her gaze wet with possible tears. He sat beside her on the couch and held her hand.

"She only said she'd be gone for six months, Lilly. There's only two left to go. Please don't cry," he begged, hating seeing his closest friend in such an unsettled state. Ever since she and Miley had moved to Tennessee, purchasing the summer home they came to every year, he had developed a strong adoration for the blonde. She was flamboyant and witty and was always willing to withstand anything nature threw her way when it came to tending to the farm on the Stewart's property a few blocks away and droving the animals into safety during harsh nights of wind and skin tearing rain. She was once powerful. Once complete. She was the perfect woman, easily envied by all others and easily the heart breaker of any man. But now, he'd never laid eyes on a weaker looking being. She was no longer the woman he loved, but his feelings did not leave with her past self.

"It's not that, Trav," Lilly whispered. Travis peered at his friend, suddenly confused.

"Then what?"

"There's something I need to tell you..."

"Yeah..." he prodded lightly, overcome by eagerness combined with a subtle dread.

"I'm dying," she said. This was the last thing he was anticipating and his heart constricted as his lungs froze.

"Is there anything I can do?" he asked frantically.

"No."

Her eyes dulled as she stared at the artificially living flames before her, a long hidden secret finally released, finally accepted. She had known for seven months and the faux hair atop her head itched with future ramifications for her silence and lack of care, but Travis, he would never know the full truth. Eventually, he would discover it, but it wouldn't be soon enough. Lilly would make sure of that.

"Do you want anything to be done?" he asked softly, helplessly.

"No."

"I love you, Lilly."

"You shouldn't."

* * *

_Miley bounded behind a tree, grinning ecstatically as she peeked around the trunk, eyeing the bushes, and searching for any kind of rustle within the shrubbery. All was still and even the small birds inhabiting the skies seemed muted as she tiptoed behind the next tree, being careful to avoid stepping on any twigs. Again, there was nothing in her line of sight and there was no sound._

_Some leaves on a nearby bush wobbled and she thought she heard a small laugh. Feeling proud of her stealthy ways, Miley moved silently towards the bush, ready to pounce, to be victorious. And when she was close enough, she jumped on top of it. A squeal came from within, but it wasn't Lilly's. A boar then scampered from the greenery and turned on her, its tusks scraping her arm._

_She screamed as it slammed into her thighs and she fell over, wincing at the hard impact. The boar refused to leave it at that, and stomped its hooves into her back, Miley's flesh instantly stinging and she felt a warm liquid spreading beneath her now torn shirt. Petrified, Miley curled into a ball and rolled out from underneath the animal as it made another move to land on her back._

_"Miley!" Lilly yelled. Miley raised her head to see Lilly racing at her, not a slither of fear etched across her face as she tackled the side of the boar. It cried piercingly as it fell onto its side with Lilly weighing it down. The moment it hit the ground, Lilly was up and grabbing Miley, dragging her to the nearest tree and pushing her friend up from the rear onto the high branches. Miley was in too much pain to help Lilly up, but the blonde managed to climb to safety just as the boar slammed into the trunk of the tree. It stepped back and charged at the trunk again, the limbs shaking and the bark cracking where collision was made._

_"Stupid pig," Lilly muttered. Her gaze then landed on Miley's bloodied arm and she gasped. "Shit, that looks deep," Lilly remarked as she tugged off her jacket and inserted her finger into a small hole made by the hog. She tore off strips and used them to bandage Miley's arm, then pressed the remaining tattered fabric against her friend's bleeding back. "What the hell were you thinking, Miley? Jumping on a boar... Really, you've done some stupid things before but this-"_

_"- I thought it was you! Don't lecture me, okay? I know it was stupid and it was a huge mistake, but now I'm bleeding to death, so it's a little late to go back and change things," Miley snapped._

_"Sorry. I just hate seeing you hurt." Lilly lifted up the back of Miley's shirt and removed the blood soaked remnants of her jacket, inspecting the crescent shaped lacerations. "Hmm, they're not as bad as I thought they'd be. Just be glad he's not a big one."_

_"Yes, I'm very glad it was only a small one that tried to maim me. It made all the difference," Miley grumbled sarcastically._

_"Shush."_

_They heard a grunt and glanced down from the branch they perched on to see the boar now circling the trunk._

_"Fuck, we're gonna be here for a while."_

_And they were. Miley and Lilly were seated in the tree for hours. The boar finally sat idle beneath them and Lilly dug the stick she had broken off one of the trees limbs into an area of the tree where the bark had peeled away. There was a deep imprint, which read 'L + M BFFs'. Miley leant against Lilly and plucked the twig from her friend's hand and added to the engravings. She pressed the stick into the timber and carved a heart around the letters._

_"I'm never gonna forget this day," Lilly said, admiring their work._

_"Neither will the tree." They shared a smile and a distant squeal alerted them of the boar's departure._

_

* * *

_

Travis crept out of the house, feeling drained from tending to a forlorn Lilly. She was dealing with an immense inner turmoil that she had shared with him and it chilled him right to the bone. He dreaded the day Miley returned to what Lilly's illness left of her, if anything was left. She was in agony with just the mere prospect of what was to come and he didn't have the faintest clue about how he would cope, how _Miley _would cope.

Miley had been Hannah Montana for as long as he could remember, and as her farewell to stardom, she decided to go on an international tour. Six months wasn't nearly long enough, but she made it as short as she possibly could to get back to Lilly as soon as she could manage. Miley was restless and antsy about not rocking the worlds of her fans out of the country one last time, and no matter how much Lilly wanted her to stay, she let her go. They were young and in love and Travis sometimes wished they'd never crossed that line all those years ago, but when he saw them after their whispered confessions and gently exchanged kisses, he knew there was no pulling them apart.

* * *

_Fingers interlaced, Lilly and Miley gazed up through the skylight of the barn, hiding from the ruckus and the insanity transpiring outside. It was Miley's eighteenth and all she wanted was a gathering of close friends and family to celebrate the special day, but after opening her presents and robotically thanking each gift bearer, Miley noticed the absence of one person, the one that mattered most. She dropped everything, not a memory of who gave her what, or even what was given in the first place, as she searched everywhere for her best friend, not understanding why such a vital contributor to her happiness was nowhere to be found._

_Miley had eventually located Lilly in the barn, nestled in hay whilst clutching a tiny, brightly wrapped box in one hand. Her eyes were closed and her jaw was slack, giving Miley the impression that her friend had dozed off in her hiding place. She settled down next to Lilly, reaching out to stroke soft blonde strands of hair until Lilly roused from her sleep._

_She cracked open an eye and smiled when she saw Miley leaning over her._

_"Hi," she whispered._

_"Hey. Nice to see you're enjoying my party," Miley said, unable to be upset with Lilly when she was looking up at her in such an endearingly dazed state._

_"It's comfy here, what can I say?" Lilly chuckled, shifting her hand slowly until her gift was beside her, out of Miley's sight._

_"Why aren't you out there with everyone else? Oliver was worried," she chided half-heartedly._

_"I was waiting for you to come find me. I wanted to give you this in private..." As she spoke, Lilly handed over the small gift she had been attempting to conceal and waited for Miley to open it. The brunette was tentative, turning the wrapped box over in puzzlement, wondering what laid within its confines. "Yes, I know it's pretty. Now open it before I fall back to sleep."_

_One slap to the leg later, Miley tore the wrapping off and found a blue velvet box in her palm. She met Lilly's eye, but the girl gestured for her to see what it held._

_Carefully, slowly, Miley eased back the lid and was welcomed with a gold locket. Engraved on the front was "L + M" and images of their tree came to mind. Remembering that day caused her to smile and when she popped the heart-shaped object open, she found a miniscule photo of Lilly and her on that very fateful day after she had been bandaged and laughing about the boar attack._

_"I love it," she announced, her voice broken and her heart throbbing. The thoughtfulness of the gift was close to unbearable and she looked down at Lilly with glistening eyes. "Thank you."_

_"Happy birthday."_

_Lilly was then smothered in a suffocating hug, much to her delight, and Miley tried with great difficultly not to weep out of such strong gratitude and elation. She couldn't imagine having a dearer friend and never could fathom even the idea of not having Lilly in her life. She loved her more than anyone, and at times, that fact scared her. Surely, their futures would not always continue to be intertwined as tightly as they were now, but she hoped and prayed more than anything that they would be._

_"Miley?" Lilly said quietly into the crook of the brunette's neck. Miley lifted off of her friend, peering down with a curious look. Lilly's eyes darted about, a silent battle being undergone as she fought with ways to express her thoughts._

_"What is it?"_

_"I... um... I kind of... No, never mind." A pink tinge was working its way onto Lilly's cheeks and Miley grinned._

_"If you don't tell me, I'll tickle you."_

_"Hey, how about I put that locket on you?" Lilly suggested in a quick attempt to save herself, snatching the golden pendant from Miley's fingers and forcing her to turn around so she could clip each end together. She purposely fumbled with the chain and Miley stuck a hand back and poked her in the side. Lilly yelped, hating that Miley knew how sensitive that spot was and fastened the clasps._

_Miley spun back around and surprised Lilly by pinning her down, the blonde being engulfed in hay. "Well? Are you gonna tell me?" Miley said, a threatening look sparkling in her eyes as she agonisingly trailed a hand down Lilly's side, ready to strike._

_"Okay! Okay! Just don't tickle me. I'll tell you," she promised. Miley eased back with a suspicious scowl. "I just... I got you another present."_

_"Oh... But Lilly, this is already too much," Miley demurred lightly, touching the locket with a strong sense of adulation. "What more could you possibly give me?"_

_Lilly smiled, her face alight as she cupped Miley's cheek delicately. "You, Miss Stewart, deserve the world." And in one swift motion, Lilly raised from the hay and kissed Miley with a love so profound that her erratically beating heart couldn't even comprehend its fervour in time due to it increasing drastically the second Miley sunk deeply into her, returning everything she gave._

_

* * *

_

Lilly weakly fell to the ground, her back pressing into her faithful mailbox as she clicked her pen into action and begun writing on a piece of paper she'd brought outside with her. Yes, today was the day. She could feel it. The despondent realisation brought on a strong need to cry, but Lilly had shed enough tears over this matter and they seemed to jam in her tear ducts every time she longed to weep over her secrecy. They no longer fell; her body was rejecting the very regret it created.

Lilly attempted to put everything she felt into words, tried to ink her heart and soul onto one scrap of paper, but she knew it would never convey even a minute portion of her love. Though she would try to the best of her abilities to be diligent for Miley, for she deserved nothing less.

Her grip on the pen loosened and her hand was beginning to tremble, but Lilly still wrote, knowing she was close to the finish.

* * *

Miley stepped out of the old pickup truck and smiled radiantly when her sights were set upon Lilly, resting peacefully on the unkempt lawn. She carefully made her way towards the blonde and crouched down, brushing hair from Lilly's face, admiring her pale beauty after going so long without seeing it. The only things Miley had to keep her from succumbing to loneliness and the all-consuming stress were mere photos of Lilly and the memory of waking up to her every morning. Those were the sweetest of moments, where quiet mutters of love were traded and hearts were conjoined even further.

Sighing gratefully, Miley lightly shook Lilly's shoulder, needing to see her partner's eyes again. But Miley didn't even gain a shift from Lilly. Perplexed, Miley shook a little bit harder.

"Lilly, wake up. I'm home! I'm a day late, I know, but I'll make it up to you," She promised, her worry increasing when she rolled Lilly onto her back, the girl still out cold. It was then that the letter Lilly had been laying on was revealed, crumpled from her weight. Miley curiously lifted the paper and read what it said.

_My precious Miley_, _I'm so sorry you had to find out this way, but by this time, you've probably realised that I'm no longer alive..._

Miley's head shot up and she stared at Lilly's motionless form, noting for the first time her ghostly complexion and lack of inhalation. Horrified, Miley placed a hand to Lilly's neck, searching for what wasn't there. Her breathing morphed into ragged pants as she hyperventilated, pressed her ear to Lilly's chest, listening for a no longer beating heart.

"Wake up, Lilly!" She cried, shaking the blonde hysterically, but Lilly's body was limp and her head lulled back devastatingly. Miley choked on a sob, holding her lost love close, not understanding why she was suddenly hurled into a nightmare that intended to peel pieces away from her heart until there were no remains. "Wake up..."

Miley cradled Lilly's corpse for what could have been hours, but Miley didn't even notice. Her gaze was empty as she picked the letter back up, scanning it once more.

_I know I should have told you sooner, before you left, but I didn't want you to stay back to look after me. I didn't want to ruin your final tour. I knew something was wrong when I started losing more hair than necessary and when I felt those lumps... It's why I stopped letting you touch anywhere near my chest. I was so scared, I didn't want to believe it, not for a second. Yes Miley, I had cancer. I guess I loved you so much that it killed me, but it was completely worth it, believe me. _

_I'll never forget the life we shared. You were my best friend for over a decade and you were second to none in my eyes. I never expected to fall in love with you, but on your eighteenth, something just compelled me to kiss you, so I decided to let go of my inhibitions and see how much harm it could do. I honestly wasn't anticipating you to kiss me back, but when you did, I knew things were going to change forever. It's one of my most cherished moments. From that day on, we made plans about our future, and I was more than happy to comply with each one, but then, I never expected to get breast cancer, considering there were no past relatives who suffered from it... That I know of. It might not help, but I have one last request. Remember when you found me at the base of our tree last year? You asked me every day for a week what I was doing there, but I never told you the reason. Now I think I'm ready to. Go to the tree and you'll hopefully find the X I drew in the dirt somewhere. Our future is there, Miley. Dig for it. _

_I love you, even in death._

_Lilly._

_

* * *

_

_Lilly had once again scampered off into the woods, not even bothering to alert Miley of her departure. Sometimes the brunette wondered to herself how such a childish person had swept her off her feet with such little effort. Admittedly, Lilly's immaturity could be quite charming. She knew when to approach a situation sombrely, but most of the time Lilly indulged in the silly little things that Miley only cared for so she could be on common ground with her partner. Lilly explored the woods regularly, claiming that there was always something new waiting to be unearthed and sometimes Miley participated in the adventurous stroll just to see the gleeful smile Lilly couldn't wipe off as she admired all that nature offered._

_Miley travelled deeper into the wall of trees, having an idea as to where Lilly could have snuck off to. She ducked under a branch and wove around familiar trees, spotting Lilly beneath their tree, still marked somewhere out of sight, and wordlessly approached the kneeling girl from behind. Lilly was doing something resembling a digging motion, but when Miley called her name softly, Lilly spun around and sprung to her feet, beaming innocently._

_"What were you just doing...?" Miley questioned, raising an eyebrow as Lilly stepped forward and took her by the hand, pulling her away from the tree, trying to distract Miley with her adoring grin._

_"Nothing of importance, but my, do you look beautiful today," Lilly piped deviously, leaning up to steal a kiss. The action shocked Miley, but in a pleasant way, and when Lilly begun to draw back, Miley's arms were around her neck, pulling her in for another, softer, sweeter, longer lasting kiss. A chuckle emitted from deep within Lilly's throat and she melted gratefully into her girlfriend of five years._

_"You're gonna tell me what you were up to back there, you know," Miley said as they parted, not allowing Lilly to wipe her mind clean this time with her warm kisses and vibrant eyes._

_"Maybe someday," Lilly replied, moving closer once more._

_

* * *

_

Miley climbed to her feet, glancing down one last time at Lilly before trotting up the driveway and into the backyard that led into the woods. She tripped several times, scraping her knees and tearing her jeans, but she felt nothing. It was Lilly's final request and she was going to honour it no matter what it took.

The tree wasn't too far from their home and Miley collapsed to her knees in front of it, locating the X close to the trees protruding roots. She clawed at the ground until her nails were caked with dirt and a small pile of soil was beside her.

Finally, she hit her goal and she retrieved a small velvet box, much like the one she'd been given on her eighteenth, and slowly opened it. Her eyes welled up with grief once more as she stared at what was exposed. A few stray tears dropped from the edge of her nose, landing on the single diamond sitting atop the golden band and Miley fell to the earth, curling into herself as she screamed and cried whilst holding the wedding ring to her chest as it whispered hollow comforts of a future never to come.

* * *

**Review, please.**


End file.
